Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
