she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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