sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
She's JV to your varsity
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Pants are for mortals
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
