well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
