i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
