I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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