i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
