why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
