I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
