Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
