Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
