They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I wear drunk well.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
