Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
