he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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