I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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