K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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