there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
