If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
