my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
