At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize