I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
