return my video game
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
