I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
