Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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