Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
