Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
