he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Randomize
