does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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