How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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