You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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