you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
