I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Drunk is not a location!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
