just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize