9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
