Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
