you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I have fence marks all over my body
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
