Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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