i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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