you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
