so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
