That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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