You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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