Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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