the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
