No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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