i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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