Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
