the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
