I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize