I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
