Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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