I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
