wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
is that a dick in a sweater?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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