Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Green mimosas i think yes
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
