Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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