i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
