I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You are a genius and a whore.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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