so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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