Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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