How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
