All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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