just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
