Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
