Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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